first times

Dear Hans,

the colour I remember having first seen

was pink and after that blue but never green

the first smell that I held in my nose

I wish it had been that of a red rose

the sound that made me turn my head

was something that the doctor said

the first person I layed my eyes on

was a midwife who since has long gone

the hands that truly held mine with love and care

were my grandfathers who had so much to share

the moment that is my first memory

was also the beginning of great misery

the first time that I felt all alone

would be the worst time I have ever known

the first look into the mirror was all pain

it took an effort but was not in vain

the first time I ever saw your face

unlocked in me an unknown space

where there was love and peace

with you by my side I feel at ease

the day that I realised who I can be

was when you opened my eyes and made me see

the moment I will be able to say my name

is the moment I will stop the blame

on my self for being the way I am

it will be the moment I won´t give a damn

to what others might think about me

it will be the moment when I truly see

let the last colour be the pink that started it all

and let there be a rose, proud, red and tall

and your wonderful face the last thing I lay my eyes on

before all the colours of this world are gone

let it be your voice that whisper the last words I hear

and letting me go without any fear

let your hands be the ones that hold mine till the end

it will have been a life wonderfully spent